The Love Story
by ChorusoftheSong
Summary: A beautiful and sexy princess/Mary Sue. A babelicious bum-smackingly hot prince. A trigger-happy bomber. In which a few of our favourite pirates star and crack up the entire story with their godly presence. Yeah, I don't really know anymore. Read on for crackiness, and possibly some not so suitable content. -wink wink- Rated T for suggestiveness and C for crackfic.


**A/N: Hey peeps, C here with a new crackfic! Okay so this sprouted from me playing a game with my crazy friend where one wrote a sentence, and the other continued it, and-and it became a monstrosity. I hope we didn't kill anyone's impression for you, and enjoy~ X_X**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to us(except the princess and the plot.) ^^ Cheers!**

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Once upon a time, there was a smexy-ass princess with mountainous humps. She was the hottest and most beautiful girl in the entire cosmic universe. Her glistening purple hair cascaded down the small of her back to reach her shapely butt, and her skin shone with the luster of a thousand pearls. The princess' rooster-colored lips pursed in frustration as she tried to adjust her slipping bra-straps.

"I just can't stuff them in," she moaned. She decided to leave them be and marched on her way to her palace, huge land mounds bouncing in rhythm. On the way to the palace, she came across a motherfuckingly gorgeous prince.

His eyebrows rose in appreciation as she sauntered foxily towards him, eyes rivet on her assets. He had beautiful flowing blonde hair, sparkly blue eyes and a seriously well-built body; his chest freaking rivaled the princess'.

"Why hello, my dear baby princess. Wanna play Titanic?"

"What's that?" she smirked.

"You be the iceberg, I'll be the Titanic and I'll go down on yo—mmf!"

The princess, whose name was Foxia (wiggles eyebrows suggestively), had pressed her ample chest against the prince's beefy arms, eyes half-lidded with seductive lust. R-rated images began to pour through his dirty mind, so nasteh that color filled his cheeks.

Then suddenly, a wild Sanji appeared!

_"FOXIAAAAA-SWAAAAAN!"_

Both the prince and princess were startled and they teetered over, their chests adding to the imbalanced weight before they crashed to the ground. The prince supported himself, hanging about Foxia, her knees between his thighs. From his vantage point, he could look directly into her voluptuous cleavage. Sanji was enraged at this blasphemy and was prepared to kick the dude's balls straight into his stomach when he noticed his face.

.

.

.

.

.

"Zoro?!"

The prince smirked and jerked his head, letting his long, cascading locks of hair flick upward to show off his sparking blue eyes.

"That's my name, don't wear it out," he purred, winking non-too-discreetly at the furious blond.

Sanji blinked.

_"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. DAH HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU MOSS- I MEAN PLATINUM BLOND BASTARD? WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF YOU KINKY ASSHOLE?!"_

Zoro sighed, getting up from Foxia, who whimpered in displeasure. He dusted himself off disinterestedly before turning to face Sanji.

"Ever heard of something called contacts, shitty cook?" He flipped his hair again with a small flick of his wrist. Sanji gulped. The swordsman did look pretty stunning. Zoro did another hair flip, before he grabbed Foxia's arms and unceremoniously flung her over his shoulder, grunting under the weight of her 'twins'.

"_Oi,_ bastard, _wait_."

Zoro turned around, only to find Sanji face-to-face and chest-to-chest with him. Zoro was struck by how sensual Sanji actually was now that he was taking a good look at him. A small petite body that led to long slender legs, an uncharacteristic pout on his face.

Zoro almost forgot where he was and was about to take the blond there and then when Foxia grinded against his back.

"I'm still here, hot stuff," she said, winding herself seductively around Zoro like a cat. A generously-endowed cat. Foxia was just about to plant a slobbery kiss on Zoro's lips when a gigantic palm sucker-punched her in the face.

_ "GOMU GOMU NO PISTOOOOOOL!"_

A long rubber arm extended from her now squished face to the shoulder of a sullen, raven-haired boy with a determined look on his face.

"What the -? _LUFFY? _Why did you—"Zoro, now confused about all the hullabaloo, stared at the boy, who had retracted his arm and was now pacing towards them.

"She was trying to _eat _your face. So I stopped her. I don't want my nakama to be eaten by face-huggers, even if they're… transformed… into something… unrecognizable," Luffy pulled on a strand of blond hair and sniffed it.

Zoro batted his hand away before saying superiorly," Oh please, don't be jealous. You love my hair. Here, touch it." Sanji wrinkled his nose in disgust while Luffy stuck a finger into his ear, pondering.

"Well?"

"Alright then!" Sanji snapped, before reaching out a hand to fondle the silken locks. His face went from **-_-** to **O_O**.

"Fuck me that's some soft hair."

Luffy, now curious, padded over on a soft footing and touched Zoro's hair tentatively. He broke into an almost deranged smile like someone stoned as hell before asking, "Heeeyyy, what did you do to get it so soft?"

Zoro sniffled pompously, before sighing exaggeratedly.

"I bleached the absolute shit out of my hair," he deadpanned.

Sanji blinked.

Luffy blinked.

Foxia blinked.

Zoro exploded.

_"OHHH **HELL NO** YOU DIDN'T!" _A catatonic cry filled the air. Smoke billowed across the ground ominously, finally parting to reveal a cloaked figure,

The figure looked up.

.

.

.

.

.

It was Deidara.

A single manicured finger was pointed, quivering slightly towards them, the other hand perched firmly on the figure's hip. Long sex-god worthy legs were set apart, stretching the fabric of his cloak. It all added up to a pretty feminine yet powerful figure.

"How _dare_ you try to take credit for my beautiful and dazzling hair?" He swung his hair like he was in a shampoo commercial for emphasis.

Deidara's eyes rested on Foxia, who was still on the floor, silently drinking in the sight of her panting slightly, legs parted to reveal indecent, black lacy underwear. All at once, he became even more incensed.

He turned, almost quaking with anger.

"Zoro Roronoa, not only did you _steal _my hair—"

Zoro gulped.

"_YOU USED IT TO SEDUCE INNOCENT STREETWALKERS. NYAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!"_

The two blonds glared at each other before the cloaked one started chasing the other, heaps of dynamite thrown at supersonic speed. Zoro grinned sharkily and made to pull out his three swords.

_"FAT CHANCE. FEEL THE WRATH OF MY—"_

A dildo laid limply in his hand.

"…..sex toy?!"

Foxia had the decency to turn away, a blush blooming across her face. Deidara went into Hulk mode, and snarled at the top of his voice.

_"COME ON SWORD-SHIT. COME AND FIGHT ME LIKE THE GIGANTIC PANSY YOU ARE. BRAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."_

A psychotic smile stretched from cheek to cheek, Deidara giddily moved onto Zoro, hands filled with mountainous humps of bombs.

Blood drained from Zoro's face, but still he stood firm. A small snarky suckle bubbled from between his lips. Zoro exhaled through his perfect nostrils.

"I guess I only have one choice, huh?"

Deidara stopped in his tracks, head cocked to one side, silently judging the motives behind Zoro's sudden confidence and arrogant stance.

A second passed.

_**"FUCK THIS SHIT!"**_

Zoro started running like a madman.

Deidara blinked, before letting out a howl, charging forward.

_"LET THE GAMES BEGIN BRAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"_ he hollered, waving his dynamite around.

A squeal was heard as Foxia was trampled on by a white Zoro and a crazed Deidara. Laughter escaped from the now-forgotten rubber boy as he made to chase them. Sadly, he was stopped by Sanji who had no choice but to drag him away.

Foxia sat blinking. She stared at the emptiness surrounding her. She was all alone. A tumbleweed stared back.

Foxia stared up to the sky and sighed deeply.

.

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_** "WHY THE FUCK AM I BEING IGNORED?!"**_

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**A/N: Andd, it's over. Did that kill your minds yet?****._.** **-shot- Please R&R and a click of that button down there would be nice~ Ja, until next time~**_**  
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**Oh, and since you've made it this far, please make sure to check out my sister's first fanfic here called The Meeting of The Fated.  
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**P.S and if someone could tell me how to add in hyperlinks without them breaking up, that would be stupendous and I'll be eternally grateful. xD  
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**-C**


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